


I Will Never Look Away

by personalobserver



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, F/F, Girl Direction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 12:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1549913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalobserver/pseuds/personalobserver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of this prompt: <i>um could you do an outsider POV one? I don't know if you like any side pairings, but there could be hints of that if you liked :) but could it be in high school, and Louis and Harry are like the lesbian power couple (lol) and the outsider POV just sees them being all sweet, all lovely. Little moments like Louis wearing Harry's jacket, going to a footie gane, holding hands in the corridor.</i></p>
<p>Title is from Lo-Fang's <i>Look Away</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Never Look Away

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I have never written Girl Direction before, and all mistakes are my own.

When Zayn walks into school, already nearly late for her English class, she gets even more distracted when she sees Liam standing at her locker, brushing her long, wavy brown hair in the little mirror she taped to the inside of the door. Zayn almost forces herself to keep walking, just go to class, but her textbook is in her locker and she won’t be able to do much without it. She takes a deep breath, bracing herself, before starting to walk again.

She tries to focus on just getting her locker and getting out of there, but of course, as soon as she pulls her locker open, the door squeaks and Liam spins around to look at her. 

“Zayn!” She exclaims, bounding over and pulling her into a hug. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Zayn’s breath hitches as she wraps her arms around Liam’s waist, hugging her back. She pulls away before she starts sniffing at Liam’s hair like a weirdo. 

“That’s probably because we haven’t seen each other since before break.”

Liam just giggles, flipping her hair and going back to her locker, which is three down from Zayn’s. Zayn clears her throat before asking, “Why aren’t you in class?”

“I could ask you the same,” Liam says, wriggling her eyebrows and Zayn just rolls her eyes. “Actually, Harry and Louis asked me to keep watch while they ‘went to the bathroom’.” She laughs into the back of her hand.

Zayn raises her eyebrows, eyes sliding over to the restroom door that swings open to reveal Harry and Louis standing in the doorway. Their hair looks terribly messy, and Harry is wiping at her mouth with a cocky smile on her face. Louis is buttoning up her plaid shirt, which Zayn is pretty sure belongs to Harry.

“Zayn!” Harry cries, gliding over on her long legs that look even longer in her shorts. “Thought you weren’t going to make it today.”

Zayn shrugs, glancing over to where Liam is helping Louis fix her hair. “I woke up late, but I figured I should come since it’s the first day from break and all.”

Harry nods shortly, her dimpled grin growing wider when Louis’ arms sneak around her waist. Zayn watches them with annoyed fondness as Louis presses her face to Harry’s neck, whispering something that makes Harry’s cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. 

“Well, I’ll see you all at lunch,” Zayn says, wanting to get out of the weird situation.

“Wait!” Liam calls, slamming her locker closed and swinging her large bag over her shoulder. “I’ll walk with you.”

Zayn smiles, feeling a flutter in her tummy and a blush rising on her cheeks. And she hates how Liam does this to her. She feels like it’s so obvious, yet Liam seems to have no idea what she does to her. 

And Zayn _definitely_ won’t be living much longer if Liam finds it necessary to wrap a hand around Zayn’s waist as they walk the fifteen feet to her class. 

**

“But, you’re going to Louis’ soccer game tonight, right?”

Zayn’s head snaps up from where she’s picking at her cuticles to where Niall is staring at her with her wide, blue eyes. Zayn sighs; she’s always been terrible at saying no to Niall. And even though she understands nothing about soccer, she finds herself nodding her head and Niall jumping up from the lunch table and clapping her hands in excitement.

“What’s all the hubbub?”

Zayn turns her head to see Liam sitting down next to her, and she loses her breath, just staring at what is Liam’s perfection, so Niall answers for her.

“Zayn’s going with us to Louis’ soccer game. Harry’s going to be happy.”

Liam looks over to her, now, and Zayn inhales deeply when they make eye contact. “Is that so?” she asks, a quirk to her brow. “I thought you hated soccer.”

Zayn clears her throat, shrugging. “I don’t _hate_ it. I just don’t _get_ it.”

And that makes Liam laugh, loud and bright, and Zayn can’t help but smile. And Zayn realize that’s kind of weird, because her and Liam have been friends forever, and Zayn’s made her laugh plenty of times, but it’s never made her feel the way she feels right now, all light and airy, like she holds all the power in the world because she can cause Liam to laugh and giggle.

And then there’s a stunned silence around the room, and after Zayn glances toward where the outside light is streaming into the room from the open door, her assumptions are confirmed when she sees Harry and Louis strutting into the room. Louis is tugging Harry along, flipping her hair at the students staring at them, while Harry watches Louis, with a fond smile on her face.

They’re nauseatingly cute, so Zayn has to look away. She doesn’t even realize she automatically turns her head to look at Liam, who is watching the events with a small smile on her face, her eyes crinkling in happiness, and Zayn feels her insides seize up. And that’s when it hits her.

Zayn Malik _might_ be in love with her best friend.

**

Zayn groans, shoving her face further into Niall’s pillow. She’s sprawled out across the girl’s bed, dreading the soccer game they’re going to in a few minutes, because as much as she _wants_ to see Liam, she also _doesn’t_ want to see her. It sends an odd sensation shooting through her stomach.

“What’s your problem?” Niall asks, rummaging through her closet and not even really paying that much attention to Zayn.

Zayn rolls onto her back, staring at the ceiling. “I think... I might be in love.”

That makes Niall spin around, a shirt falling out of her hands. “Who is he??”

Zayn winces. She thought she had made it pretty obvious that she was lesbian. She’s never really tried to hide to when she’ll blatantly check out girls that walk by in the hallway, or maybe even lean over in her seat to continue watching some chick who caught her attention. But apparently Niall is oblivious to everything.

“It’s not a...” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “It’s Liam.”

Niall squawks. Literally squawks. Like a bird, or something, and Zayn can’t help but laugh. Laugh at Niall for sounding like a bird, and just laugh at the whole fucked up situation because Zayn truly is in love with her best friend and she just confessed it to Niall. Fuck shit.

“Are you fucking with me?” Niall asks, putting her hands on her hips defensively. 

Zayn sighs, long and exasperated. “I wish.”

Now Niall _squeals_ , like a happy mouse. And Zayn just looks at her, wide-eyed. “That’s so cute!” she gushes, clapping her hands. “Are you going to tell her?” Niall gasps. “You should tell her tonight! At the game!”

Zayn sits up abruptly, shaking her head. “No. Absolutely not. She can’t _know_ about this.”

Niall pouts, her bubble of glee deflating. “But why not?”

Zayn levels her with a ‘are you serious?’ look, but Niall doesn’t get the hint. “Because she’s straight? And we’ve been friends for so long, Ni. I can’t go and ruin it by saying something stupid like ‘I love you’.”

Niall nods in agreement. “But if she were gay, then you’d tell her?”

“Um,” Zayn pauses to think, chewing the inside of her cheek. “Probably not.” Niall opens her mouth to protest, so Zayn continues. “It’s the friendship, Niall. I don’t want to ruin it. Just because she magically turns out to be gay, that doesn’t mean she’ll be in love with me, too.”

Niall sighs, defeated, but she doesn’t say another word. And Zayn can’t decide if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing.

**

They show up to the field about ten minutes late. The game sas already started and they can hear Harry’s cheering all the way from where they stand by the entrance. It makes Zayn smile because Louis and Harry are just so... Louis and Harry. And Zayn loves them so much, but she can’t help but feel a bit jealous sometimes over what they have – two best friends who feel in love with each other. Zayn may be a tad bitter.

They make their way to the stands, and Zayn spots Liam instantly, even before she waves over to them, a smile on her face. Zayn walks over to her, completely forgetting Niall is with her until hands push at her back and she goes stumbling into Liam, nearly sprawling across her lap as Niall cackles behind her.

Zayn rights herself, blushing profusely and apologizing like she doesn’t know any other words besides ‘sorry’. She sits down next to Liam, just far enough so their thighs aren’t touching. Niall is about to sit on the other side of Liam, before her name is called, and Zayn looks over to see a boy with a vibrant streak of blonde down the top of his hair. 

“Who’s that?” Liam asks, an impish smile in her voice.

Zayn turns just in time to see the flush in Niall’s face before she answers, “Josh. He’s just some guy, but... I’ll see you guys later!”

And then she’s gone, leaving Zayn and Liam alone. Zayn can’t help but fidget, fixing and messing up and fixing her hair, tucking it behind her ear as she risks a glance in Liam’s direction, but her eyes are focused on the game, her face shifting between different emotions as the players sprint across the field.

Zayn sighs, turning to look out at the crowd surrounding them. She spots Harry’s head of brown curls down by the fence, standing as close to the field as they’ll allow, cheering and waving a sign for Louis above her head, and Louis’ practice jersey hanging of her frame. Zayn smiles sadly, feeling the knot of jealousy tightening in her chest. 

A loud whistle pierces through the air, making Zayn jump and Liam laughs at her.

“What does that mean?” she asks, turning to look at Liam.

“It’s halftime.”

“Already?”

“Well you _did_ get here late,” Liam points out, a smile playing at her lips. “I’m going to concessions. Want something?”

“A water’s fine. Here...” She starts searching through her bag, maybe she has some loose change on the bottom.

“Nah, it’s fine. I got it,” Liam says, smoothing a hand down Zayn’s arm, then heading off down the stairs of the bleachers. 

And. It’s just a water. Probably going to cost fifty cents, _maybe_ a dollar. It’s no big deal. _It’s fine_. But Zayn can’t help the flutter in her stomach and the way her palms sweat. But it’s just a friendly gesture. Because Zayn is Liam’s best friend, and Liam doesn’t know that she’s the love of Zayn’s life.

Zayn grits her teeth, trying to calm down her racing heart, letting her eyes wander across the field. She spots Harry, still standing by the fence, her sign forgotten on the ground next to her as she leans over the fence. Louis is jogging toward her, her short pixie hair whipping around her face, a bright grin spread over her lips. Then Louis wraps her arms around Harry’s neck, tugging her even further over the fence as they kiss, Harry’s hands reaching out to grip at Louis’ waist. And when they pull away, Zayn might imagine it, but she thinks she can see Harry’s lips form the words ‘I love you’.

Zayn immediately looks away, feeling like she’s intruding upon their little moment. She nearly knocks heads with Liam, who’s sitting back down beside her.

“Hey,” Liam breathes, handing over a bottle of water. “Sorry that took a while. I ran into Emma and we got caught up talking about the NBA Playoffs. She knows nearly all of the stats. It’s amazing.” 

“It’s fine,” Zayn replies dryly, forcing a smile across her face that doesn’t even feel real, but she can’t find herself to care.

Because Liam was talking to Emma – perfect Emma that _everyone_ loves. She’s smart, and girly, and even athletic. She’s everything Zayn isn’t, and that makes Zayn’s throat feel clogged up. Maybe Liam likes Emma, _really_ likes her. And Zayn wouldn’t blame her if she did. Because who would like Zayn with her tattered, old button-ups that she owns way too many of, her ripped jeans that she’s probably worn a few times beyond their expiration date, her shy, secluded personality that prevents her from going out and meeting new people. Zayn _really_ doesn’t blame Liam for never having fallen in love with her, because Zayn doesn’t think she’d even be able to fall in love with herself. 

But Zayn has never been one to dwell on things she doesn’t think she can change. (Okay, maybe she is, but that’s not the point.) If Zayn is capable of changing herself, she’ll be able to change the way Liam sees her, maybe make her fall in love with her. Zayn shakes her head, not wanting to get ahead of herself. 

But maybe, _maybe_ it’ll work.

**

When Zayn walks into school the next day, she feels so very awkward. She’s never worn a skirt before in her life, and she now remembers why. She feels exposed. _Way_ too exposed. And like everyone is looking at her, probably because they _are_ , but Zayn likes to be the person who people don’t take second glances at, the person they barely register is there.

And her insecurities are only heightened when she finally reaches her locker, pushing her curled hair off her shoulder and glancing at Liam, who is already watching her, a look on her face that almost looks... torn? Upset? Zayn can’t place it. She just knows she doesn’t like it. 

She tugs down the hem of her skirt, forcing a calm expression over her face before turning to face Liam fully, trying to remember the notes she took that are currently stuffed in her pocket.

“Did you watch the game last night?” she asks, shifting her feet in her sparkly flats that are too tight around her toes.

Liam looks at her, surprised. “Game?”

“Yeah, the um, the one between, um, the Mavericks and the Spurs?”

Liam’s jaw literally drops, and Zayn is starting to panic, because now she can’t remember what else she wrote down on her note card. 

“Yeah, I watched it,” Liam replies, her tone sounding stunned. “Spurs won. Not sure if I should be happy or not.”

Zayn nods, raking her brain for any clues of what’s on the paper burning a hole in her pocket. “Yeah, um, Parker really annoys me, he’s just so... cocky. Same with Duncan.” 

And Liam’s jaw drops even farther, if that’s even possible. “Totally agree!” she exclaims, starting to laugh, and Zayn can’t resist the urge to laugh with her. 

“What’s so funny?” Louis voice sounds next to them, and Zayn can hear Harry’s whispered, ‘stop being rude, Lou.’ 

“We were just talking about last night’s Playoff game,” Liam says, sending them a smile. 

Harry’s eyebrows shoot up beneath her bangs. “With _Zayn_?” And then Harry glances over to her and her eyes widen, taking in Zayn’s appearance. “You _are_ Zayn, right?”

Zayn rolls her eyes, trying to seem unfazed, but her hands flit nervously with her clothes. “Yes, Harry. Shut up.”

“But... Your clothes!” Louis chirps, stepping closer and feeling at the fabric of Zayn’s blouse. “I don’t think I like it.”

“Louis!” Harry scolds, grabbing at Louis’ waist and pulling her closer, and Zayn swears she can hear the whispers of ‘punishment’ then Louis’ cheeks heat up.

Zayn looks away, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth as she stares at the ground. She feels so stupid, _so stupid_. She’s not sure how this was going to get Liam to notice her, because honestly, Liam seems even more distant.

There’s a hand clutching at her wrist, tugging her away from her locker and toward the exit of the school. Zayn looks up to see Liam’s hair billowing behind her as she rushes through the hall, clutching at Zayn’s wrist. They make it outside, and Liam makes a sharp right, leading them a small alcove formed from the walls of the building.

“Are you okay?” Liam asks, her fingers loose around Zayn’s wrist.

Zayn averts her eyes to the ground, and she realizes how often she’s looking at the ground these days to avoid Liam’s imploring eyes. 

“Come on, Zaynie.” Liam taps at Zayn’ chin. “Just look at me. Please?”

Zayn sighs, but she lifts her head, their eyes meeting like magnets. It makes Zayn’s insides feel like they’re being sparked to life.

“There we go.” Liam smiles, her soft brown eyes shining, reflecting the sun and Zayn can’t breathe. “Now. Will you tell me what’s been bothering you? You’ve been acting so different, and now... _this_?” She gestures to Zayn’s entirety, her hand waving between them. 

Zayn swallows, glancing down to where Liam’s fingers are still around her wrist. “I’m just so confused,” she sighs, running her free hand through her hair. Liam is just giving her this expectant look, so she continues, “It’s not like I planned, or even wanted this to happen, but lately I’ve just. I’ve started getting these _feelings_ whenever I’m around you.” She pauses shaking her head at the ground. “It’s ridiculous. It really is. Because we’ve been friends for so long, and I’ve known the whole time how amazing you are, how compassionate you are, how much you care about everything you do, about everyone around you, but for some reason, it’s _just now_ clicked in my mind, mixed with all these feelings. I’ve – I’ve realized that I’m...” And she just stops speaking, her throat closing up, because this is harder than she thought it would be. She thought maybe she could just spit it out, get it over with so she can flee the scene.

“Say it.” Liam’s voice is soft, just barely above a whisper.

Zayn startles, staring at Liam. “I don’t—”

“Say it,” Liam says again, her grip on Zayn’s wrist tightening, and Zayn is sure her eyes are wider than they’ve ever been. Zayn looks down the ground again, but Liam takes a sudden step forward, grasping Zayn’s chin in her hand and forcing Zayn’s head up to look at her. “Please.” The word can barely be heard over the thrumming in her head, her heartbeat filling her ears. 

“I’m in love with you,” Zayn says, and it doesn’t feel as weird as she thought it would. The air is still heavy between them, but there’s a small shimmer of something that Zayn can’t identify. “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” she rambles on. “It just sort of... happened. And then when I would see Harry and Louis being so _perfect_ and cute together, I just felt like I wanted that – the comfort and familiarity that comes with falling in love with your best friend.” She laughs wryly, shrugging her shoulders. “But I realized you could never love me back the same way. Because I’m too much like a guy, but I’m not sporty enough. So I thought. I thought I would change for you.” She gestures to herself, wincing when she looks down to see her bare legs. “I even watched that stupid fucking basketball game last night.” That makes Liam laugh, short and sweet. “I had no idea what was going on the whole time, though. I had to google some things afterward.” She stops for a moment, and they just look at each other. Liam isn’t running away, which is good, but she’s not jumping in joy, either. “I have no idea why I just told you all of this,” Zayn sighs, tugging at her hair. “I feel like a complete—”

Liam’s grip around her wrist tightens, and she’s tugging Zayn in until their knees are knocking together and Liam is grabbing at her neck, kissing her to shut her up.

And it works. Zayn melts into it, gets lost in the soft cushion of Liam’s lips, and she can’t wrap her mind around the fact that _Liam_ kissed _her_. It’s all unreal and Zayn thinks maybe she didn’t wake up this morning. Maybe she’s still dreaming. Or maybe she rolled out of bed while she was sleeping, hit her head on something and died. And this is her eternal torture, being kissed by Liam forever. Okay, maybe not _torture_.

But it’s over way too quickly, Liam pulling away and grinning her eye-crinkling grin and Zayn’s pretty sure she’s dead now, because if it weren’t the kiss that killed her, it’s that fucking smile. 

“I didn’t,” Zayn begins, reaching up to tangle her fingers into Liam’s soft hair. “I didn’t think you’d feel the same.”

Liam scoffs and leans down to press another kiss to Zayn’s lips, who is not going to protest. “Of course I feel the same,” she says. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you for years now, I just didn’t know how to go about it.”

And Zayn has to laugh at the twisted irony of it all. Both in love and both so oblivious. 

“But I fell in love with _you_ , Zayn,” Liam continues, taking on an edge in her voice. “I didn’t fall in love with some wanna-be girly-girl who pretends to know NBA stats.” Zayn blushes, having being called out. “I fell in love with combat-boot-wearing, giving-absolutely-no-fucks Zayn. _That’s_ the Zayn that stole my heart.”

And Zayn is sure her insides have turned into goo, everything just mushing together. She stares at Liam in awe, not really allowing herself to believe everything that just happened, everything that just came out of Liam’s mouth. 

“I can’t...” she says, shaking her head with a large grin on her face. “I’ve been so worried about all of this, never once believing that you could love me back. And now I just can’t believe that everything is falling so perfectly into place.”

Liam laughs, warm and fond, tucking a strand of Zayn’s hair behind her ear. “Well you better believe it, babe. Maybe we can even compete with Haz and Lou and become the new ‘lesbian power couple’ of the school.”

Zayn giggles, ducking her face to hide it against Liam’s neck. She still can’t believe it. This is too perfect to be Zayn’s life, but she thinks she’d be able to get used to it. Especially with her best friend as her girlfriend, she thinks they could take on anything.

When she raises her head to press a sweet kiss to Liam’s awaiting mouth, she knows they’re still the best friends they were before – it’s all just a lot better, now.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback!!! YES, feedback would be lovely! Thank you ! (:


End file.
